Friday, 7 January 2011
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Dear Friends and Fans,

You may have noticed a bit of radio silence from me lately, and I do apologize for that. Many of you know that I had a baby boy in August. But, I also moved into and renovated a house. On top of those wonderful (and stressful) game changers, I have two other children and a husband. My life is very full and very busy.

I realized about six months into my pregnancy that I wasn’t really feeling up to doing much writing. At eight months in, I gave up entirely. There wasn’t an inch of me that wasn’t swollen. Every time I tried to do anything, it felt like I was wading through molasses. This was made easier by the fact that no one seemed to be that enthusiastic about the books I was writing. People liked them, sure, but they didn’t love them. And I wasn’t about to give my series away to someone that didn’t love the concept as much as I did.

I kept waiting after my son was born, for that syrupy-molasses feeling to go away, but it didn’t. Could this be the dreaded postpartum that I had managed to avoid so far? I loved my baby, I didn’t want to throw him out the window (or myself out there either.) I wasn’t crying all the time, I wasn’t sad in any way. In fact, I was happier than I had ever been. I just didn’t want to work. Now to be honest, I didn’t want to just be at home with the kids either. I’m not nearly that noble. But something was definitely off.

I began to really focus on my knitting. I realized over the course of ripping back, fixing mistakes and often starting over that there is a difference between a Knitter and a person who can knit. A Knitter doesn’t mind to rip out a day, or a week or even a month’s worth of work. We know the temporary twinge is better then the alternative- living forever with a sweater full of holes, dropped stitches and too short sleeves. Besides, its the knitting we love, even more than the sweater itself.

I began to wonder, with admittedly a twinge or two, if these three books I had written, these sequels to When Autumn Leaves, had to be placed in that category.

I remember when I first began what would become When Autumn Leaves. It was a very different book back then. I was 27, with a two year old at home. My career wasn’t going anywhere and my marriage was terribly unsatisfying. I created a world of magic and community to escape the loneliness I felt.

When I began the first “sequel” to the book, I was going through a divorce. I was older, I felt a bit hedged in. Now my career was great, but with the sole care of two small children I was rarely in a position to enjoy it. So I began to write about a massive magical universe that centered around women and female bonds. They lived and trained across the world doing important things, life or death things. Clearly I felt my own world very small. I concentrated on women because men had notoriously let me down. I gave them very small “bit” parts in my novels and secretly felt that was all they deserved. This was a huge endeavor, sometimes satisfying but mostly hard to keep track of.
Then I fell in love with a fantastic man and had a son of all things! The freedom I had longed for didn’t seem nearly so necessary as spending time with my wonderful new family. I realized that the books I had written, the majority of them set far away from my beloved Avening no longer fit the woman I had become. They were good, maybe even great, but no longer authentic and certainly hard even for me, to garner great enthusiasm about. This realization came as a relief, once the initial shock wore off!

Like a Knitter, I find that I must rip back and start again. And also like knitting, I have to be okay with the journey that got me here rather than the absence of books in print. But dont worry! The characters that moved you well enough to send me an email or sign up for news, or “friend” me on Facebook, will still be the focus of my new series. But they will remain for the most part in Avening and the nature of the Jaen will have to shift a little closer to home.

I do apologize for the wait. I so appreciate your notes of praise and well wishes, which is why I am writing to you- you are a large part of my own community and the magic you dash off when you get in touch with me translates into conviction, creativity and perseverance.

I hope to have some good news for you soon friend, and Im sorry if Iv’e emailed this to you already…just trying to get the word out

Happy New Year

Amy